My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell Review
Name - My Dark Vanessa
Author - Kate Elizabeth Russell
Rating - ★★★★★
An era-defining novel about the relationship between a fifteen-year-old girl and her teacher
Vanessa Wye was fifteen years old when she first had sex with her English teacher.
She is now thirty-two and in the storm of allegations against powerful men in 2017, the teacher, Jacob Strane, has just been accused of sexual abuse by another former student.
Vanessa is horrified by this news, because she is quite certain that the relationship she had with Strane wasn't abuse. It was love. She's sure of that.
Forced to rethink her past, to revisit everything that happened, Vanessa has to redefine the great love story of her life – her great sexual awakening – as rape. Now she must deal with the possibility that she might be a victim, and just one of many.
Nuanced, uncomfortable, bold and powerful, and as riveting as it is disturbing, My Dark Vanessa goes straight to the heart of some of the most complex issues our age is grappling with.
“I just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that.”“I know,” she says.“Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it?” I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. “It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”
I think my review should start with listing the trigger warnings, because this book deals with a LOT of sensitive issues and it is not one that I would blindly recommend to anyone. If you're thinking of reading this, please be careful with yourself and make sure you're in the right mindset because it is not an easy book to read.
TW: Rape, paedophilia, grooming, gaslighting, sexual assault, suicide, victim shaming, manipulation
Okay, I'm not really sure where to start with this review. Do I talk about the usual stuff, the writing style, the characters, the plot... or do I talk about the difficult and heartbreaking topics, the abuse that Vanessa suffers through her entire life, the questions and discussions that Kate Elizabeth Russell raises? I guess I'll start from the beginning.
Kate Elizabeth Russell really throws you into the story. There is no holding back. From the get go, this book is dark and emotional and difficult to read. My Dark Vanessa deals with a girl who is sexually abused and raped by her English teacher, Jacob Strane, throughout her time at school. It features a main character who, in order to cope, rationalises the trauma she faces and persuades herself that the abuse she was victim of, was love. It switches between past and present tense. The reader sees Vanessa suffer through the abuse, we also see how this abuse has shaped Vanessa's life as an adult.
One thing that I found quite profound, was how grounded in reality this novel was. The pop culture references, e.g. Vanessa's romanticisation of Lolita and the music that is referenced throughout the novel, reveals how prevalent and normalised the sexualisation of young women is in modern day culture.
Kate Elizabeth Russell also highlights a very important issue of allowing women to deal with their trauma at their own pace. The mention of the #MeToo movement, a movement that is supposed to give survivors a safe place and a platform to share their sexual assault experiences, is instead a movement used by journalists to crowd and pressurise women to share their stories. Rather than letting Vanessa deal with her trauma, and talk about it when she's ready, if she wants to, the journalists and the other student who was also abused by Jacob Strane, instead push and pressure Vanessa to speak out about her abuse. The author raises an important topic of letting women deal with their trauma in the way that they decide is right for themselves.
"That's what people keep saying, that you need to speak out no matter the cost.""No," she says firmly. "That's wrong. It's a dangerous amount of pressure to put on someone dealing with trauma.""Then why do they keep saying it? Because it's not just this journalist. It's every woman who comes forward. But if someone doesn't want to come forward and tell the world every bad thing that's happened to her, then she's what? Weak? Selfish? The whole thing is bullshit."
Seeing all of the different reactions to the abuse Vanessa suffered is also interesting. The author raises the important point that sexual abuse can affect everyone around the victim. While Vanessa turns to minimising the abuse she suffered, her mother decides to pretend it didn't happen at all. The mother's reaction did not help Vanessa in the slightest and by the end of the novel, we see that the mother definitely regrets the way she dealt with the Vanessa's abuse.
"Sometime I think I was looking out for you. Police, lawyers, a trial. I didn't want them to tear you apart. Other time I think I was just scared... I hope you can forgive me."
The author emphasises that there is no "correct" way to deal with the trauma of sexual abuse. Everyone, whether it is the victim or the family of the victim, will deal with the trauma in a different way. It may not be the healthiest way of dealing with things and it may not be what the victim needs, but Russell highlights that abuse can cause trauma that is so deeply-rooted, it affects everyone: the victim and the family of the victim.
We also get glimpses into the mind of Jacob Strane, the abuser. Although there aren't any chapters written in his point of view, we begin to see brief flashes into his mind through the conversation he has with Vanessa. For example, the way he attempts to justify the abuse, or constantly asks for validation and comfort from Vanessa. His attempts to rationalise the abuse is sickening to read,
"You and I started long before I ever laid a hand on you." He says this so forcefully, I can tell he's said it to himself many times before.
This novel is bleak and eerie and absolutely horrifying to read at times. The reality is that the abuse that Vanessa suffers, is the abuse that many young girls and boys can be a victim of. Vanessa didn't have an extremely difficult home life. Strane grooms her into sexual abuse by making her feel like she is special and unique and rare. He succeeds by manipulating Vanessa. This abuse could happen to any teenager or child, and that's scariest thing about this book. It's not fiction, it's reality.
These characters aren't ones you will love, and that's because this novel isn't supposed to be read for enjoyment. My Dark Vanessa is a book written to educate and help people to understand that we have a long way to go on understanding the reality of sexual abuse, rape and trauma. This is such an important novel. It raises so many important topics and discussions, and it's a novel everyone should read if you're in the right mindset.
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